


Please Cope Responsibly

by sanbika



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Isolation, M/M, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-08
Updated: 2018-12-08
Packaged: 2019-09-14 12:00:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16912488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sanbika/pseuds/sanbika
Summary: Lance is alone and missing his friends. It's hard to keep thoughts at bay when you've got nothing to distract you. Luckily he gets a call from one of his best friends... that should be a fun diversion, right?





	Please Cope Responsibly

**Author's Note:**

  * For [enjayas](https://archiveofourown.org/users/enjayas/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Please - - - - - - - - Responsibly](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14577426) by [enjayas](https://archiveofourown.org/users/enjayas/pseuds/enjayas). 



> Please don't ever drink and go swimming alone. Please don't. Lance is not in a good state of mind in this fic. 
> 
> Also there may be spelling or grammatical errors. I've been sick with what I thought was a stomach bug but turned out to be food poisoning :( If you find a typo, please leave a comment to tell me where it is! :)
> 
> You can find the spotify playlist I made for this fic and for P--R here: https://open.spotify.com/user/wux9yt4ccq51j73806tu6n0hx/playlist/2aBcVBFgA0sZmq6gIBPjJS?si=gluwYhrbST2RHKKq2cHZNw

It was cold on the roof, and the difference between the temperature of the heated pool and the chill air raised goosebumps on Lance’s arms and chest. Still, he kicked his legs idly, making the water ripple in growing circles and pulling a huge fluffy towel around his shoulders like a cape. 

Lotor was on a business trip and wouldn’t be back until later, and the generals had all wandered off to their apartments, leaving Lance alone in a penthouse that was too big, too gaudy, too empty to stand at the moment. He couldn’t sleep either, despite needing it badly. His mind and body were exhausted from late nights, clubs, missions, and way too much… physical time with his new partner. 

He was so tired and he was so damn bored. 

The wind picked up and Lance frowned before wrapping himself even more tightly in his towel. The view was worth the discomfort, though, with the lights of the skyscrapers twinkling around him and reflecting off of the dark waters of the infinity pool. 

If he closed his eyes, he could just hear club music from down the street pounding away. He could almost pretend he was there, an important, attractive person walking smoothly into the roped-off VIP section—someone others noticed and wanted to be around. In his fantasy, he was alone at the table, until a handsome man walked by, a man with dark hair and familiar, purple eyes. 

Lance grunted, annoyed, and opened his eyes again, taking a long drink from the glass of rum and coke he’d put together, picking up the lime and chewing on it peevishly. In his daydream, he’d been alone but that seemed wrong now since he and Lotor were… together now, essentially. He reasoned with himself. It takes time to adjust, his mind was still stuck in the events of weeks ago. It’d catch up.

As he mused, he felt a vibration behind him and hoping it was Lotor calling to say he’d be home early, he turned eagerly to it, only to suck in a breath when he realized it was Allura, trying to videochat with him. Since everything had blown up in his face at the party a few days ago, he’d been bombarded with worried or frustrated messages from Hunk and Pidge, and a couple from Keith (and one from Shiro, the self-righteous asshole). 

But he didn’t know what to say; hadn’t wanted to explain himself or his choices; couldn’t face the guilt of knowing he’d ruined his best friend’s bachelor party. So he’d ignored the texts and calls until he couldn’t, finally blocking them all as they persisted. He’d call them back once he figured out what he could even say to make up for the outburst. And how to lie so they wouldn’t worry about him. 

What he’d done at Shangri-La was his business, he wasn’t in danger, and Lotor wasn’t forcing him to, but he knew they’d still be upset no matter what he said. A small voice in the back of his mind questioned whether they had reason to be, but he just shook his head as if he could physically dispel the thought.

For a second Lance moved his thumb towards the red X to hang up but like muscle memory, he swiped on it. Videochats had been a staple of his and Allura’s friendship whenever school or work got to be too much for them to keep up their shopping dates. And he hadn’t spoken to her in so long…

It had been a hard few days and while he had made the decision to avoid his friends until he had a way to get them off his back, he hadn’t realized how much time he’d been spending with Pidge and Hunk after the breakup. Without them or Keith or Shiro or Allura to text and SnapChat with, without work, without Red or the mice to play with, with Lotor gone, and the Generals so in sync with each other that there was no graceful way to add to their dynamic, he was starting to feel terribly lonely.

The phone chimed as the call was connected and his chest twisted with panic. But before he could fall apart, Allura’s beautiful face popped into the screen, hard to see as there was little light around. She gave him a dazzling smile. Lance was surprised to feel tears well up, and he coughed to hide them and sipped his drink. 

“Lance! Finally, I was starting to think you were ghosting me!”

He laughed shakily, noticing the way her eyes darted across the screen, as if she were inspecting him for damage. 

“No, I would never, Allura, I’ve just… I’ve been really busy.”

The conversation lagged for a moment as they both searched for something to say but Lance found himself wanting to talk, needing some normal gossip with one of his closest friends. 

“Where are you? I can barely see you! Why are you in the dark, do you have a new best friend?”

She laughed at his indignant tone, “I’m in my car, I was just… on my way home from work and missing you, that’s all. I didn’t want to call you from home.”

Cutting herself off, Allura looked sad for a moment. But Lance knew she was right, he couldn’t handle seeing her office, knowing that Shiro could call out to Allura or walk in at any moment… 

It occurred to him then that Shiro had ended up with Allura, his first real significant crush, and had taken away Keith, despite the years of love and trust that they’d had. A deep wave of betrayal and hurt shook him and he inhaled sharply. Lance drank from his glass to clear his mind, but ended up choking on it. 

He shuddered before smiling at Allura, “No, that’s fine, I was just teasing you.”

She brightened before she raised her brows.

“Where are you, Lance? A hotel?”

He could see the city lights reflecting off the glass in his video feed icon, and he paused before flipping the camera, showing Allura the pool, the tiled paths, the elegant floral displays. She gasped as he panned around slowly. She couldn’t figure out exactly where he was based off the grainy video, so it couldn’t hurt, he supposed. 

“Wow, that’s lovely. Where are you staying?

“Just… with a friend. He has a nice place, huh?”

“Nice is the Holiday Inn. Luxurious is the Peninsula. That place is on a whole other level! When can I come swim in that pool with you?”

Lance hesitated, feeling his stomach start to churn with nerves again. 

The last time his friends even saw Lotor, let alone spent time with him, everything had fallen apart into chaos, the emotions of that night rising up. If Shiro told Allura… if he’d told her everything that had happened at Empire G, how could she be okay with them seeing each other? The answer was that she wouldn’t be okay with it, she was too protective of Lance, too black and white in her thinking.

“I...don’t know. I’ll have to… check our schedules first. I’ll get back to you on that.”

It was hard to see her in the car but she seemed to wilt, eyebrows crinkling together. 

She perked up again to tell him about the absolute catastrophe her office was now that one of the directors had left suddenly. The conversation turned to how Lance’s skin was glowing and he gushed about this brand he’d been using (that Ezor had turned him on to, though he didn’t share that). 

The tension drained out of his body now that they were talking about safer, sillier things. Still there were times when Allura’s eyes were so focused on him… he could tell there were other things she wanted to say. 

Allura looked down for a moment before turning back with a rueful expression.

“It’s late and I’ll have to head in early tomorrow. I hate to go though, I really miss you Lance. It’s been wonderful catching up.”

Lance felt the sting of loneliness like a brand.

“I miss you too Allura. Let’s... try this again sometime, huh?”

“Or we could have lunch! My schedule’s open this weekend if you have time?”

Lance nodded guiltily. At this point he didn’t know if he was avoiding his friends because of their connection to Keith and Shiro or because he was afraid of what they would say about the fiasco that had occurred. 

Now that they knew who he had been staying with, they were definitely going to have some thoughts about his choices, and he didn’t want to have to defend his relationship from them. And he couldn’t handle more confrontations, not when he was just so tired all the time. 

“Sure, I’ll text you when I know what my weekend looks like.”

He had tried for hopeful but his voice had dropped and it sounded like the dismissal it was. 

Allura smiled again but her eyes were sad. 

“Please Lance, I can come see you. I’m worried. It’s not like you to disappear-”

Knowing that if Allura was about to go in on him, she wouldn’t stop until she’d said her piece, Lance panicked and interrupted her. 

“I promise I’ll be in touch Allura, I have to go. Love you.”

And he ended the call, dropping his phone to the side to lie back on the cold marble with a groan. He couldn't figure out if he had made things better or worse with that ill-advised chat. He lay still for a moment, berating himself. 

The stars above were barely visible but what he could see, he tried to measure with his hands before dropping them, remembering the time he and Keith had spent making up their own constellations. 

Lance gulped at his drink, relishing the sensation of the liquor settling in, turning his body to liquid warmth. 

He hadn’t been a daily drinker ever, preferring to share his misadventures with the rag tag group of friends that had become a family. But now as days and weeks slipped by at a pace that was a little surreal, he found himself needing soothing oblivion more frequently. Unless he was up all night with Lotor, he found it hard to sleep without several nightcaps.

And besides the warmth he felt, there was an easiness to drinking. Things seemed to make more sense even if he didn’t want them to. He could accept the sad turn his life had taken and be proud of his place at Lotor’s side. Life was just crazy like that. And Lotor seemed to think it was destiny. There was something nice about being with his first so intimately, in a way he had been craving without knowing for years. 

He drained off the last dregs of his rum and coke and slipped clumsily into the pool, sinking to the bottom and exhaling little trails of bubbles. The water didn’t sting his eyes at all so he watched it distort the city lights around him, feeling nothing. 

Lance stayed on the marble floor for as long as he could, and longer. The ache of his lungs as they strained for air was soothing - it matched the way he’d been feeling ever since he’d found out about Keith. Just as he began to feel dizzy, he noticed a dark silhouette by the side of pool and kicked off from the bottom, gasping as he reached the surface. 

Lotor’s face was shadowed by his hair but he could feel him smiling down as Lance breathed in as slow and hard as could. Finally he looked up and Lotor began to his pet his face, stroking his cheeks and playing with his lips. 

“You look ethereal under there, do you know that?”

Lance blushed, tipsy enough that the compliments hit him hard. He pushed himself up on the pool edge to catch him in a bruising kiss, soaking his clothes. 

“Want to see where else I can look ethereal?”

Kissing his forehead, Lotor shook his head gently. He reached down, shirt and watch and all, to lift Lance bodily from the water and place his towel around his shoulders. Lance burned at the show of strength and he leaned against Lotor, placing small butterfly kisses where he could reach. 

“We’ll have to save that for later. I have a special request for you.”

Lance blinked, feeling a bit rejected; he hadn’t thought there would be a mission tonight, or at least he hadn’t heard of one. And Lotor must know he’d been drinking, his highball glass was empty and he’d left the rum out on the bar. Still, he’d come here to ask this of him, not Axca or any of the other generals, so he’d chosen Lance first. 

Pushing down the sense of unease, he nodded slowly. There was something exhilarating about missions, these days. The risk, the sense of purpose, even the tastes of quintessence ripped him out of the wrongness he felt lingering in the corners of his mind. 

He put on his game face and smirked confidently at his partner, holding his hand.

“Let’s do it, Silver.”

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was inspired by the brilliant Please -------- Responsibly by enjayas. The emotional twists and turns in that series are truly epic. I thought of how conflicted I'd be if I were Lance and how badly I'd want to just... not think. So I tried to show the push and pull of different feelings here and how Lance is or isn't coping. There's a few other things I sprinkled in that should stick out as being "off," even when there's a lot of attraction in an unhealthy relationship, there's usually signs of things being not okay hiding in plain sight.


End file.
